It was because I was living a life that was unnatural to me. It was because I was living a lie. I suppose it had been building up deep inside of me ever since I came back from Texas, and the shitty day I had was just enough to push me over the edge.Unfortunately, there wasn't anything that I could do about it. I mean, just because I had a panic attack didn't mean anything had changed about my situation. All I could do was hope that I didn't have another one.I was anxious over the next few days, and I realized that being anxious about having another one could actually bring one on, but I couldn't help it. I didn't say anything about it to Mary since I didn't want her to worry about me. I didn't want her to question why I suddenly had one, either. Yeah, we both knew there was something wrong between us, but it was like, if we didn't talk about it, then it didn't really exist. Kind of like that old expression, letting sleeping dogs lie.By the end of the week, I still hadn't had another. She closed the exam room door to assure privacy and then told the boy to undress. He did so slowly and she had to tell him to speed it up. He then stood before us in just his briefs."Continue!" she said.In a very hesitating manner the boy inched his briefs down his legs with one hand and stepped out of them, all the while holding his other hand in front of his genitals. We could see that he had good muscular development for a boy his age."Now let's have none of that!" the nurse said quickly. "Hands at your side lad, and stand up straight facing us!"The boy reluctantly complied. I must admit I was fascinated by what I saw, even though I felt sorry for the kid. I had not had many opportunities in my life to observe naked 13-year-old boys. This one was rather attractive and had washboard abs. His genitals appeared as yet undeveloped, with testes not fully descended.The nurse asked the boy to flex his biceps while she gripped one of the lad's arms. She seemed satisfied with the kid's.
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